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"... I like the feeling of being a blank state. I think I've come through something; this is hard for me to admit. In the past I have always expected the worst to happen; perhaps I still do think the worst will happen, but what if it doesn't? What if, at this point, I am in fact free? That I can walk down the street, get on the bus, buy a magazine, talk to a guy in a shop, try on pair of shoes. I don't need permission. I can do that. ..."
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